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I won't be glad to say goodbye to 2013 because it means starting the first year that won't have Paul in it, but it has been a shit year.
Friday December 20th found me back at the crematorium with a huge crowd from school for the funeral of my TA Chrissie. She had had three gruelling treatments for a cancer that wouldn't abate but it was only when she came to work with a bottle of liquid morphine that we knew. We still didn't expect it to be so quick, she refused Macmillan nurses, stayed at home and apparently died watching the Arsenal lose to Napoli, drinking a shandy which she declared to be 'fuckin  lovely' ~ that's my Chrissie x
Simply the Best (her karaoke favourite) This is My Life and Wish Me Luck as You Wave Me Goodbye ~ standing room only meant that five of us from work had to group at the front with no hiding place but you could see her family respecting her wishes for no tears and the effort it cost them. We let her down badly and I hope we didn't draw too much attention to ourselves.
After Paul died I had work, but now I don't have work because work was Chrissie. She could get our kids writing like no one else because she loved a story, from Rumpelstiltzkin to Martina Cole; she loved our reading groups (twelve till twenty past daily); she knew the words to all the old songs; she could join in the Owl and The Pussy Cat at the drop of a hat and she could spot a troubled child through a brick wall.
I am sick of crying but I will miss her more than words can say.
oh and there were some nice things
Napoleon
Paul Klee
Daumier at the RA
Tea at the Ritz
The Wicker Man
Jo cooking the most delicious Christmas dinner; she and Micky are beyond words
And above all being able to make some donations to Paul's favourite charities

Comments

( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
vorrago
Jan. 2nd, 2014 05:11 am (UTC)
Oh Sarah, I am so so sorry for your loss. It sounds like she was a truly wonderful person. Rest in peace.
I hope 2014 will be much, much kinder to you - This year has had so much pain, I can't even imagine... You do not deserve this at all.
Stay strong, my dear. all my love. xxx
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )